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For Fuck's Sake
singapore sunset
I think i'm living with my worst flatmate since the disastrous D saga of 1998. Honestly. Never have i had to live with such a ridiculously whiny, poor-me, passive-aggressive bitch, and that's saying a lot after some of the places i've lived. I am SO fucking tired of the only conversation being "my boyfriend never answers my text messages, my boss doesn't understand how stressed i am, my wah wah wah, me me me" when every miserable thing that happens in this guy's life is directly brought on by his utter and complete inability to act like a fucking adult. He's completely incompetent at work, but it's always someone else's fault. He's extremely clingy and paranoid, like a 14-year-old school girl with her first boyfriend. He refuses to look for partners his own age. And he's passively vindictive in the most frustrating ways.

He can't sleep alone. He invites a friend over almost every night. A friend who we end up feeding, uses our shower, stays here all day when we're at work using the heater, TV, oven, etc. M and i are paying 2/3 of the rent in a house that feels like it's only 1/2 ours (if that). As long-time readers will know, i am really uncomfortable with having people in my house anyway, but i've put up with it because i understand a lot of folks enjoy having mates over. When it gets to being every fucking night, when i have to wait outside the bathroom door and end up late for work because someone who doesn't even fucking live here is in there it's going a bit far. All his friends have keys to the house and let themselves in any time of day or night, of course.

His friends are a way to avoid confrontation. He feels like i won't get bitchy at him in front of his mates. Of course i wouldn't have reason to get bitchy if he paid his share of the groceries on-time, if he EVER cleaned the house that he swore he would do once a week after my last explosion, if he had any respect for my space and the fact my partner and i are paying the majority of the fucking rent in this shithole.

But calm blue ocean. M and i are moving out in 10 days. We've applied for a place, we're getting the fuck out of here. "Oh but how will i recharge my iPod when i don't have your computer here any more wah wah wah!" He should thank his lucky stars i even gave him a login. I'm seriously over it. The new place is a lot more expensive split between two people, but it's (kinda) closer to work, it's a newly renovated place and most importantly it's not going to have a hideous black hole of negativity that sucks all the happiness out of the place in the next room.

I just wish he'd grow up and stop being the (even bigger) dick he's been since he found out we're going. The lease expires here in August anyway so quit your whining and passive-aggressive bullshit and build a fucking bridge. Jesus.

Moving into a new place means i've committed to at least another 12 months here in Melbourne. This morning it's cold and raining. Again. I really fucking hate this weather. My skin is so dry it's cracking open. (If you don't like gross skip to the next paragraph.) My toes are splitting open where they connect to my feet, it's like lots of paper cuts down there and it hurts like hell. My face feels like sandpaper. My fingers are covered with cuts from the cold. Sucks sucks sucks. I want my sub-tropical humidity back :(

But i like my job. It's challenging and i'm learning things and that's something i'd been missing for years in my last job. I like being somewhere new, and in a big city with nice restaurants. So yeah. At least 12 months, maybe more if i don't go completely insane from the weather and lack of decent nightclubs.

Also i get to decorate. No painting of walls, but a new place of my own (or at least, half mine) means i get to decorate, which is a fun i haven't experienced since being in America. Soooo it's time for furniture and rugs and pictures and ornaments and cool shit. I am going to be very poor, but damn is the new place gonna be cozy.

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good thing you're getting out of there. someone needs to shut that shit down. continuing to do everything for him isn't doing him any favors. people like that never get any better until they're *forced* to start doing things for themselves.

about your funky skin problems- do they have aquaphor ointment in australia? i swear by it for stuff like that. its a cure all, like dermatologist's duct tape.

sorry i haven't responded to your email. i keep meaning to, but the truth is, i suck mightily. :(

Fuckin oath. Depression coupled with pitifully low self esteem, well fuck, i've been there, i know what it's like, but there's only so much patience i have yanno? Sure he's a mate (or at least, he was before i moved in with him), but there's a point where you just can't let it fuck your life up too. He's gotta get his shit sorted because i'm not dealing with it any more. In the mean time i guess it'll just to go back to hanging out fucked up at nightclubs like when we first met. Bleh.

I will look for Aquafor. It's so weird, it started happening the other day, just cuts appearing in my feet from dryness. I don't think it's athlete's foot because it doesn't look fungaloid, but who knows. Perhaps i should visit the doctor.

Don't stress about the email. I suck with email too. Journals are easy. I'm lazy.

well i totally understand having low self esteem and depression, but you can't use that as an excuse to act like an asshole. the comment you made about "how will i recharge my ipod" reminded me so much of a roommate i had in college. i had an apartment, btw, this was not in the dorm. i was virtually financially supporting her, though she did buy her own clothes and make up- which she bought in GREAT ABUNDANCE. she magically somehow had money for that, and no kidding, would spend hundreds of dollars on it almost weekly, but could never mysteriously come up with rent. she was such a slob she would like, drop meat on the floor in the kitchen and leave it for me to clean up. i'm not making this up. meat. plus, she'd have a different guy over every night, who, after having sex with her loudly would then use my shower, eat my food, etc. when i bitched about anything she'd bat her eyes and blame her poor behavior on the fact that she was lithuanian and "didn't understand." which made me INSANE. the woman had a masters degree from an american college but thought "duh, me not know any better. me cute and foreign" was an appropriate means of excusing her from missing rent payments, not cleaning, etc. ANYWAY when i told her i was moving out she reacted with the typical "but what will *I* doooo" routine. she tried to convince me that i had to continue supporting her/ letting her live rent free, or she could be deported. talk about manipulative. i told her to ask one of her many gentleman callers to marry her. heh. anyway, she had this sense of entitlement about everything and a "poor me" attitude that drove me crazy. what sucked though was we were really good friends before we moved in together! thats the quickest way to ruin a friendship.

btw: the word "fungaloid" had me busting up. seriously, i laughed way more than was entirely warranted.

Hey matey...sounds like it is getting down to the wire...just 'tink happy toughts'...LOL. Take care matey and don't do too much comfort eating (not that it would matter on you anyway you bitch...LOL)

Pfft sif. I'm getting old man. Size 16!!! You know he probably wouldn't be bugging me so much if i didn't know we were nearly moving ;-) But hey, i like to vent.

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