amw (amw) wrote,


Oh my fucking God, the BBC had some absolutely DIRE theme music. Or the BFBC as it was called out just shy of the Iron Curtain where my father was stationed.

I was noodling around EBay earlier tonight after T went to bed, and saw some of those small Lego kits i used to have as a kid going for $20+. Used. Then i looked over at the other toy sections and goddamnit if my generation isn't hoovering up 80s toys by the millions with their post-dotcom six-figure salaries.

So that got me thinking about Transformers and how that was all the rage and still is in kind of a retro way. But i never really got into Transformers. Then i remembered C.O.P.S. - a vaguely cyberpunk-ish cops'n'robbers cartoon i watched religiously. Or more specifically, the theme music i listened to religiously. I guess that counted a lot for me when i was a kid, because most of the shows i watched were the same ones that had the rad Van-Halen-meets-Human-League-in-a-huge-ball-of-mozzarella soundtracks. And i didn't really get into the show if the theme song didn't let me sing or hum along.

So i went on a mission. I went downloading MP3s of old theme tunes. First i went for the ace cartoon themes i remembered - C.O.P.S., Defenders of the Earth, Jem, Inspector Gadget, Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors and Galaxy Rangers ("NO GUTS NO GLORY, NO PAIN NO GAIN" yeah! rock!) Then i figured i might as well get the live action stuff too - Airwolf, Magnum P.I., Max Headroom, Miami Vice and Knight Rider. And Dallas and The A-Team, but the 23-year-old in me didn't think too much of those two tunes any more :-(

But then something very bad happened. I found myself on a British theme music site. No problem - i'll get Grange Hill, i think to myself. (Top funk music by the way, check it out.) Then Doctor Who for those kickass synth noises. Oh but how it went downhill from there. I found BBC Grandstand. Yes, the sports show my grandmother would watch with cricket or snooker or something equally silly and i would just sit there listening to the friggin 5 minute ultra-cheesy orchestral opening theme while those green letters sat there on the screen.

And Rainbow. American readers won't know this, but this is one of those many British kids shows that make English people as fucked up as they are. "...up above the streets and houses, rainbow climbing high, everyone can see it smiling, over the sky, paint the whole world with a rainbow..." Psychedelic swirly colors, spookyass kids, uber-hippie presenter and Zippy. Zippy with the egg-shaped-head and a mouth with a zipper. And that pink rhino guy. Teletubbies are nothing on Rainbow.

Magic Roundabout. Featuring Dougal the dog. And that eerie fairground tune. Jamie and the Magic Torch. Ambient sleeping sounds - "goodnight Jamie!" - cue freaked out wah pedal and stuff. Then there was Mallet on the godawful WACADAY. And Let's Pretend, some more of that eerie theme stuff. British kids shows are evil, man. Give me Sesame Street and Saved by the Bell anyday.

Shit, it's 3am. Guess i should sleep.

They just don't make cool theme music any more.
Tags: looking back, music

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.