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fucking gastro
singapore sunset
FUCK~! What kind of fucked up fucking temporary illness makes you not able to eat? Gastro, that's what.

On Saturday last week i went out to dinner for my sister's birthday. I only very rarely eat red meat at home, and then i cut it lean as a motherfucker and slice it up for maximum tortilla wrappability and minimum fat content. But i was out and it was special so i thought what the hell, i'll go a steak. Might as well go for a treat when you're out, you know? Along comes this fuckin 2-inch thick piece of meat with all this fatty shit streaked through it, and on a bone no less!! But yanno i ate it and it was a nice change at least. I felt pretty shithouse the next day, though.

Sunday i made pork fajitas with pork i'd had in the fridge for a couple days. Don't ask why it'd been in the fridge that long. Mixup. I figured i'd be okay, though. Felt worse.

Monday i was feeling terrible, but i thought it was just leftover flu from the week before, so i pumped myself full of juice and yogurt and fruit and added extra garlic and chili to the bean and cheese burritos for dinner. Tuesday my stomach cramps were so bad, my diarrhea so fucking painful (and this is post-Imodium) i went home from work early. Wednesday after almost puking my breakfast up i decided to look up on the internet what it could be. And realized pretty much every fucking thing i put in my mouth since Sunday morning was making it worse.

So Wednesday and Thursday all i ate was dry white toast. Well, peanut butter toast and chicken soup and carrots. No cheese. No chili. No juice. No tomatoes. No garlic. No yogurt. No Diet Coke. No coffee. No alcohol. That's basically my whole diet right there. Today i thought well for sure it must've fucking gone down by now. After a full day of bland assed fucking food i drank a beer and a cider at post-work drinks. Two goddamn drinks. And now i'm in crippling pain again, cramps out the fucking ass (literally). I don't know what to eat for dinner. I am SO fucking sick of eating food that tastes like nothing. Goddamnit. I like eating. Especially NOW when i've been comfort eating to make myself feel less miserable. And no caffeine is making me cranky.

And what pisses me off more is i actually wanted to go out tonight. After last week not being able to go out due to the flu this was gonna be my first proper gig since, what? Jason Hodges? Fuck. Coming up next week is Marshall Jefferson (house music GOD) or Style Of Eye (house music up-and-comer). Maybe i should just save up for one of those and spend another weekend watching Boston Legal DVDs. But the worst thing is i won't be able to stay home and eat good food! What the fuck!!! Stupid gastro.

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i feel your pain.

i've had the squirts ALL afternoon. unfortunately i didn't have the forethought to call in sick to work, so i've had to deal with psychiatrists and crazy people in between running to the loo.

only thing is - i haven't eaten anything abnormal and i have no idea what's caused it.

hope it's gone by tomorrow...dont wanna be running off to the loo throughout my days off.

I've never called in sick for this before so i was stuck trying to find a poetic way to say "hey boss, i have explosive diarrhea, can't come in". I don't think there is one :-( Ah well, i'm sticking to the bland foods. My stomach settled again last night when i went back to toast and decided not to go out. I guess i'm just going to have to take it easy... I have a plan, though. I think jello and popcorn should be "safe" foods, but they're also yummy, so that's planned for today.

*rubs your belly*...oh you poor thing!!! There is nothing worse than feeling really shit and sick and there's nothing you can do about it!!!

If you would like me to express post some chicken soup I could I suppose...don't think Australia Post would be too happy though...LOL.

Magic buddha belly!!!!

I'm drinking juice this morning as an experiment in fixedness. The upside of this is that i'm forcing myself to try make food that tastes decent but without the ingredients i use all the time. I may have to send a report once i'm out the other end :-)

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