amw (amw) wrote,


Something funny about bipolar disorder is you kinda forget you have it after you've had it "under control" for years and then all of a sudden you step outside yourself and realize you're having a fucking amazing couple of weeks, probably too amazing, and then it's like the whole world has collapsed and you're tired and sick and nothing is working properly, and then suddenly everything's fine again and there's no real rhyme or reason. It's not as bad as it used to be, but it still happens and i think that not thinking about it could be making it worse. Need to be at least somewhat conscious of pushing too hard because it just leads to crashes.

But anywho crashes are like, sooo last week. This week was all about heated arguments at work, then getting really drunk, then being hungover, then staying up way too late, and now staying up way too late again it seems. Though i have an excuse - i just got back from Jeff Wayne's War Of The Worlds (the musical) an hour or so ago.

I booked tickets about 5 months ago when they first got released, and now i'm working in a new job so it was good to catch up with my old work buddies for the gig. We had seats WAY at the back about 90 degrees to the stage due to cheapness on my ex-colleagues' behalf, but we could still see most of the show (minus the Richard Burton head that was hidden behind a hanging speaker stack). It was pretty nifty how they worked with projections behind the band/orchestra to tell the story, then brought out characters and props and fired off a few pyrotechnics too. Nicely choreographed considering how little story there actually is. The acoustics were as shitty as they were for Guns'n'Roses at the same arena, though. Massive amounts of reverb are okayish for certain instruments, but for vocals it just makes it muddy.

Also i started getting that sitting-down-watching-a-show itch, which always bugs me when i'm listening to music instead of dancing to it. Not that i'd dance to War Of The Worlds anyway, but eh. I tend to get bored/sleepy when i'm just sitting there watching a band play a song. The projections and pyrotechnics were good, but not enough to keep me really engaged the way a movie would.

I keep trying, you know. This year i've been to a bunch of live events, lots of straight pop/after-work bars, and i've done the whole jazz/funk/indie club thing because M dug it and it's just not happening hey. Gigs which aren't in a nightclub playing dance music just ... it's like going to a museum or something. Like i can see what people get out of it, i can understand that they dig it, but it's just so not my thing. I want darker rooms, crazier lights, groovin tunes, bumpin dancefloor, it's like being in church, it's just such an amazing feeling that goes right deep to my soul.

Oh, and speaking of museums, i got two pictures framed this week, but i still don't motherfucking have them because the fucking store had a "back in 15 minutes" sign on the door and i was too busy to stand around in the rain waiting for their lazy asses to get back into the store. The amount of stuffing around i've gotten from that store really shits me. Unfortunately it's the only framing store i know of in the city center. It's closing down this weekend, too. Gay gay gay. I've been looking forward to getting these pictures framed for ages. One's a portrait T did and one's a Nagel print. Other pictures i've put up recently are an arty photo thing of theda_b and a bunch of photos of mates over the years. It makes me happy to have my pictures actually on my walls and on display instead of in boxes and shit. One day i will buy a movie-poster-sized frame and finally hang up the Betty Blue (37.2 Le Matin) poster i've had rolled up for over 5 years.
Tags: alcoholism, crazy, manic, music, my boring life

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