amw (amw) wrote,


And while i'm in one of those update a million times moods... I swear i have a speech hearing impediment. Many of you know this because i whine about it intermittently. I absolutely cannot make out the words of even my favorite songs. I love singing, but i'd probably be a terrible singer because i'd forget the words on stage. Nine Inch Nails is probably the only band which i actually know a lot of songs by heart, and even then i stumble over words mid-song. I've listened to the albums a million times! Not to mention the whole Guns'n'Roses thing where even people who only heard them on the radio can repeat the lyrics blindly while i struggle with the songs i played and rewound and played for years. This is one of those things that seriously bugs me. I've tried to explain it away by saying i get so caught up in the music my brain just registers the vocals as another instrument, but that's a flakey excuse. I want to be able to sing the songs i love, damnit.

I want to be able to afford all those CDs i haven't bought in the last two years because i've been saving money for other things. I want to be able to sit down and play guitar for hours whenever i feel like it, make amazing music and not struggle to play the sounds i want to play. I want to sleep for days and try to get my energy back. I want to fly to America tomorrow and see my love again and hold her so close.

I want i want to do things and get out and be something and grow and be more than i ever have been. I want to get out and have fun and spend time doing the things i love with people i love and just feel free and happy and just for a while not stress about anything, not feel sick, none of it. I want to smile, i want i want to kiss her lips again...
Tags: music

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