There is a great song about this, you guys all know it because it's one of my favorites. Soft Cell - Frustration. I'm not near as boring as that dude, but holy crap. If i ever have band that's gonna be one of the first songs we'll cover.
The stupid thing is... i was 18, studying philosophy and music, just released a CD, was writing music regularly... Then i thought oh no i'll never earn a living doing this, so i'll go study IT and get a job doing the same. Then i'm 21 and i'm like fuck this job sucks, but i'll keep doing it because it's my ticket to move to America on an H-1B. Then i'm 25 and i'm like fuck this job sucks, but i'm gonna keep doing it because really it's not THAT bad and it's letting me have a great lifestyle. Then i'm like 27 and it's like, okay, i'm STILL not in fucking America, and yeah i have enough money to do pretty much whatever i want here, but i'm still here and i'm still sitting in front of a goddamned computer screen every day. And now i'm almost 28 and hey, maybe this is my ticket to Canada on their version of the H-1B. It's definitely my ticket for skilled immigration. But dude! 9 years working in cubes! This is sooo not what i pictured for myself when i was 18.
I need to make myself do more music, do the shit i love to do in the evenings. I need to say, hey, doesn't matter if i'm exhausted or i feel like a zombie, if nothing else just pick up the guitar. Ugh. "But but but..." Yeah, i'm gay. Fuck.