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can i just have one more moondance?
singapore sunset
Today J and i went out to shoot some photos. This is probably the first time i've had a lot of photos taken of me since back in 2002. We took a lot of photos in Vancouver this February, but at the time we were just so thrilled to be together that i didn't really let it sink in.

I fucking love seeing pictures of me. It's more for sanity than vanity, i think. Something that really meant a lot to me when i lived in California was getting to see how my partner saw me through her camera lens. I had a pretty dim view of myself at the time, so getting to step outside my reflection was really important. I remember seeing the photos back then and going, fuck, i'm beautiful. It's a big deal to realize that when half the time you hate yourself and want to die.

I've talked about The Big Gap in photos of me in previous entries... After getting back to Australia in 2002 i had about a year where a friend liked to take photos of me with his point-and-shoot, and then that was it - bar the odd cellphone happy-snap. I really missed gaining that insight into ME.

Well it's 5+ years later now and wow, do i look older - i've gained a fair bit of weight and my eyes have serious wrinkling going on. But i'm ridiculously happy. It's amazing to see me smile and laugh in almost every photo. Doesn't really do much for arty/moody shots so J gets no portfolio fodder, but for me it's another realization of something i don't get to see in the mirror. In the mirror i can see my latest hair style or color, i can dig the outfit i'm wearing or the make-up i've done, but seeing the emotions? I need pictures. I know on the inside right now i feel happier than i have for years, so it's really good to see that it's showing on the outside too.

I kinda feel like i should be waiting for my life to all come falling apart again. I guess that's the job of the Canadian immigration department :-)

I'm including the subway shot because i love the colors, even though it's a little hazy and doesn't support anything i said in this entry... And yes, i did completely forget to apply lipstick even though we had it with.

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I miss your red hair. :)

That said, these are FABOO. :)

I miss my red hair too, but it's been a few years since i was blonde so i thought why not. It's fun being so wildly platinum/ash. Best thing about getting this blonde is that you could go any color under the rainbow in one hit as soon as you get bored! Getting the red out a was a lot, lot harder :-)

I really like the second one. The blond is very nifty. My hair would fall out if I tried something like that.

Thanks :)

My blonde was nuts!!! Going from the red to the blonde, my hairdresser just about wanted to go outside shoot herself after the first round of bleaching when my ends came out bright pink. She was so embarrassed she refused to let me leave, but trying to tone it was burning my skull so bad i just said, look, i'll wear a hat, i'll come back later - next day i came back and she toned like a maniac to get it back to sort of goldy-red. My head was burning for a week after, all i did was spray leave-in moisturizer every morning. But a month or so after that i managed to go platinum and i still have my hair so yay! It helps that it's very short now i think.

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