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canada's useless healthcare system
singapore sunset
I tried to contact a shrink through a number of different organizations. Most of them don't provide services unless you are registered on the state's health insurance plan and referred via your primary care physician, which i obviously don't have. The few that are community outreach type places have a waiting list. I've left messages and now all i can do is wait for my calls to be returned. Undoubtedly i'll get a call at that most inopportune moment where i won't be comfortable speaking or picking up the phone in the first place. This is bullshit. How do homeless people and undocumented immigrants (much less "vacationers" with insurance and money to spend like myself) get access to healthcare in this country? For fuck's sake.

I am adamant to sticking to taking my meds every day, not drinking or doing drugs, at least attempting to go to bed when i'm supposed to, all the right things, but this is really fucking hard and i need some professional help too, damnit. It's not just me either, i'm driving J crazy because my shit isn't together and that's not right. I can't be there properly for her because i'm too fucked up myself. I feel like i've gone backwards 7-8 years here, and that's not a good feeling at all. It feels so hopeless when even when you're trying to do everything right you realize you're still a slave to this illness.